I guess those silly glasses can finally go. You know the ones where the zeros frame your eyes. I am done with the zeros. This decade has been a ride, one that I would take again with the instruction manual.
I remember I used to say if I can just get to July (2002) everything will settle down and there will be time to enjoy life. Well, I never took that time. I got pregnant in August (2002) and life has never had a dull moment since then.
Usually I spend New Year's Eve making goals and plans for the next year, five years and ten years. But this year I will spend it saying good bye to all the baggage and crap I learned in the last decade. Tonight is not about pushing myself to the breaking point for the next five years, it is not about making the most money or having the best house, it is about saying good bye to all the perfect that never was. Good bye to the competition of life. Good bye to this decade.
I know I am not alone in wanting this year over. Let alone wanting this decade over. It has been one of the hardest times I have ever seen on my friends, my family, people I don't even know. It has taken it's toll and we (I hope) are going to be better for it.
I am starting fresh next year. And my focus is simple ... happy. I am going to go back to the things I love - like working and watching good TV and making my kids laugh. I am going to take the time to breathe and dance and sing and smile. I am going to take joy in the little things. I am going to remember to laugh and cry with my friends.
I am reminded of the way Carolyn acts towards others in this world. It is simple and real. It is through the eyes of a child, where we, all of us, are the same. I will tell myself this story over and over for the next year to bring me back to reality of what life should be about.
About three years ago I brought Carolyn to Northampton to hang out with my birth-mother and have some girl fun. She picked out some magnets for her dad (Father's Day was around the corner) that she was so proud of. As we were walking along the street she stopped to show this guy her magnets that she picked out. He was a homeless guy. And she made his day. He smiled and told her how much her dad was going to love them. There was no judgment by anyone, there was no holding her back, there was no scolding that she was talking to a homeless man, there was no fear.
And she just beamed.
And he just laughed.
And that is what life is about. Bringing joy and happiness to everyone, no matter if they have a mansion or cottage or shelter. Making a difference, for the better, in this world starts with a smile and a helping hand. One that a child gives so freely and with pure love.
May a smile cross your face this year and may you pass it along to someone who needs it. And may you find the happiness your heart desires because we only get the chance to do this once. Sometimes we take that for granted. Happy 2010 to all of you.
Despite the craziness of the year, it was really great to meet you!
Posted by: Kristin | 12/31/2009 at 12:32 PM