In three days it will be 15 years.
Fifteen years since I have been with my mother on Christmas.
Fifteen years of Christmas joy that really never came.
My mother died on Christmas at around eight o'clock in the evening. After she tried to hold on to make it through the day. See her mother died on Christmas Eve, when she was 13, and she never really found the joy in Christmas again. And as any good mother, she tried to spare that for me. But she couldn't hold on for the extra four hours.
So when you ask me why I sleep so much or don't listen to the radio or am not in the Christmas spirit, that is why. I do have the spirit, it is just different, it is one of memories. And I cherish every one. I would not change my path because I got to share the first 20 years of my life with my mother and because of her death my life was placed on this path, a path I treasure.
My mother was an amazing women.
I am not going to go into every aspect of her life that touched so many. Just know, on that cold day after Christmas, the church was packed as we all said our last good-byes.
So what is Christmas about? Really in 2009, what is it about? It is not a celebration of Jesus' birth because he was born in March. It is not to help your neighbor because I bet you have spent more on gifts than volunteering your time this year. It should be about family, and therein lies my problem. There are so many in this country that have forgotten that. Greed, "Christian Values", over indulgent parties. If it really was about celebrating Jesus' birthday, as many claim, they would be tolerant and excepting of all people in this world and giving of their money and time to help those less fortunate.
I tolerate Christmas. It is better these days with the addition of Carolyn six years ago and Bobby this year. It is about them now. It is about the joy in their faces. It is about lighting a candle to remember my mom and talk about her to the kids so she can live in their memories. It is about family again. Not the gifts, not the clean house, not the over the top. Just simple and basic. Santa brings some gifts, we make cookies, and we get to spend it with the people we love.
Happy 15 years mom. You are missed everyday.
And if you have a mother out there, call her, just to say hi - nothing more. Once she is gone you are never the same, trust me. So remember this year it is the simple things in life that mean the most. A call, a helping hand with the snow, a smile when you pass them on the street begging for change. We are in this together, this life thing, and sometimes it takes death to remind us.
Lovely tribute! I truly love your last sentence. You hit the nail righ ton the head!
I first happened upon your blog a few days ago. I live next door to the Uneegar's and read the post about FB being your hometown newspaper. Well done.
Posted by: Cynthia Newsome | 12/23/2009 at 10:46 AM